When was the last time you went to the supermarket? You probably used a shopping cart. At the end of your shopping trip, where did you leave it? It seems like a simple question, but the answer is more complex than you might think.

It was a windy day when Z left the supermarket. After placing her groceries in the car, she returned her cart to the designated area when something struck her hard, knocking her to the ground. It was a shopping cart left in the parking lot by a customer who was in a hurry. Z looked for her glasses and realized they had broken in the fall. Who pays the price?

That same day, R, who had just picked up his brand-new car, stopped for groceries before going home. When he returned, he found a dent in the driver's door, caused by a shopping cart left behind by someone who didn't want to get wet in the rain. Who pays the price?

On another windy day, 82-year-old B stopped at the supermarket to buy anniversary flowers for his partner. B was struck by a cart abandoned by someone who believed returning it wasn't their responsibility and that he was “helping keep someone employed to do it.” B lost his balance, fell, and hit his head against a nearby vehicle. He lost consciousness and, hours later, his life. Who pays the price? Is there any insurance that can turn back time and restore someone's life?

But it was only a shopping cart!

If we think that way, we are giving responsibility to an object with wheels. The uncomfortable truth is that, in each situation, a human being made a choice that impacted another person's life.

A shopping cart may say more about us than we realize. We may say, “I didn't mean for the cart to hit anyone.” The truth is, someone else may still pay the price for our choices, which can create a chain of events with unpredictable consequences.

In these stories, the object that caused harm was a shopping cart. But just as we can normalize small daily acts without considering their impact, we often overlook harmful behaviors in our relationships: a word used to humiliate, a threat, physical aggression, or control over someone's money, phone, friendships, or choices. When repeated and normalized, these behaviors can leave deep scars and destroy relationships. Who pays the price? Often, it is our children, partners, friends, or someone else who ends up being “run over” by another person's behavior.

Who is in control of the shopping cart? The person pushing it. We are each responsible for our choices and for recognizing how those choices may affect others. Breaking the cycle of harm begins with self-awareness. By educating ourselves, our children, and our communities, we learn to recognize harmful behaviors instead of normalizing them. We can teach responsibility, empathy, respect, and the importance of considering how our choices affect others.

If you recognize these behaviors in your relationship or in the relationship of someone you know, support is available. Talk to someone who will listen without judgment. The Center for Empowerment and Education (CEE) has confidential hotlines available 24/7: Domestic Violence: (203) 731-5206; Sexual Violence: (203) 731-5204. To schedule a counseling session, call (203) 731-5200.